The Transition

Whew, we've made it through Advent and are racing onto perfection, and the year 2010. This week always seems to put me in a funk, how about you? It's sort of a week of recovery from all things Christmas. For me it is always the week of tight jeans (from eating too many sweet things) and tying up loose ends, while trying to get excited about what is to come. In the end I find myself sitting here at 4pm wanting nothing more than a snuggly nap, which isn't going to happen!

I have asked my church what it means for this year to draw to a close. This has been a really hectic year for me personally, as my mom decided to separate from my dad in April. Christmas was wonderful because we were all together, but it was strange because we were in a new and different place trying to make sense of this new and different family dynamic. Sometimes dysfunction can become pretty comfortable and safe, can't it?

Our church is embarking on a new journey starting next Sunday. We will watch the movie 'Fireproof' and then every Sunday evening have a time of discussion about relationships, both married and single people are encouraged to take part. I have been studying this movie and preparing for this experience and the more I read, the more I realize that though relationships are unbelievably complex, sharing love and caring for someone is really pretty simple. The Fireproof series challenges us to do things that we teach children to do, such as keeping quiet unless we have something nice to say, doing something nice (and out of the blue) for someone we love, offering to help with no hidden agenda, etc.

I have a really good friend who is a counselor and we were talking yesterday about the human condition. No matter who we are, how perfect our family, how much money we have - we can easily find ourselves in a messy situation emotionally, relationally, and often physically. One wrong word spoken in anger, one step outside a marital relationship, one barrier placed around your heart, and your entire life can change. It has been this way since Adam and Eve were in the garden and that snake came and tempted them to eat of the forbidden fruit. Because of sin, no matter who we are, from where we've come, or where we are going, we are all in need of God in our lives.

Sometimes I get frustrated at my lack of ability in certain areas. Often I find myself second-guessing myself and others. In the midst of all of this I am called upon to be a guide for others, someone who challenges them to grow closer and gain in knowledge of God. Sometimes I wonder who in their right mind would sign up for this gig....(that's when I realize I'm left handed and it all makes sense!!! ha ha).

I take great relief in knowing that we are all on this journey together. What has this year meant? Did you make all 360-some days count? How will we make 2010 a year full of growth? My prayer as I think back and forward is that God has led and will continue to lead, that I will hear God's voice louder than my own, and that I will cherish the people around me and not be afraid to challenge myself, my church, and others to reach out and grab Jesus' cloak.

What does this new year mean to you?

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow...

Well, yet again I haven't been keeping up with this blog very well. I wonder why it is so hard for me to find the time to keep up? I might need a time-management class, or maybe having internet at my house would be helpful. Or maybe I'm moving too fast. Do you ever do that?

No matter how hard I try, even in cutting out some of the things that have been taking up tons of brain time, I seem to always have more on the "to-do" list. And, when I'm not "doing" I often feel bad about it, which might make me even crazier.

I often preach that message, "Faith is not about doing, it is about being." Faith isn't about performance, getting things done, evangelizing fiercely...it is about knowing you are loved even when you perform terribly. I liken it to my first experiences playing the piano in church. Having your mom as the church organist basically means that you have lots of opportunity to play in worship. It's great until you actually sit down on that bench, your hands get all sweaty, and as you look at the sheet music you realize that something has taken over your brain and you can't remember how to play this instrument after all. But, no matter how terrible my offertory was, no matter how many notes I missed during the hymns, the folks would hug on me after church like they'd never heard anything so beautiful in their entire lives! (You know those kind of folks, don't you....I love those folks.)

It's these unconditional love people that change our lives and teach us about who we are and how we want to live our lives. I want to be a person like that, don't you? Most of the time loving others comes pretty easily to me, and often I find myself wanting to care for folks I don't even really know. I wonder then, why it is so difficult for me to realize that God's expectations of me aren't really based on what I accomplish as a pastor, or daughter, or friend...but that I just need to focus on God's presence and leading and trust in faith that what God wants most for me is to just be present in relationship.

We have had two snow days now, we have tons of snow. It's really beautiful outside and I love it! Not having so much to do for the past couple days has given me the opportunity to reflect on the joys of being a pastor (praying with folks, fielding phone calls, having sacred conversations with people who are hurting, attending youth band concerts, wrestling matches, basketball games, and sometimes I even remember that it's ok for me to just take some time to spend with God...in the quiet).

On this snow day (though it might be 80 degrees where you live) I hope you will find a place of rest and time to just be with God. Who knows what God has in store for you!